This article is intended as the complete guide to navigating late-life divorce, including why it happens, what kind of support you can get once it happens, and how to eventually get over and move on with your life.
Late-life divorce or “gray divorce” is increasing in the US. While nobody knows the actual reason, the probable cause is that the couples do not want to enter the last chapter of their lives in an unhappy union; hence, they decide to part ways.
Many people go through the phase of divorce in their life, and it can be a real challenge to go through such a phase in life. At this time, you may feel angry, hurt, or even emotional due to the ups and downs that have occurred in your life.
But there is always light at the end of the tunnel. You can be consistent and focus on yourself so that you do not hurt yourself and understand the significance of letting go. There are certain ways to manage your life and get a purpose again.
How To Heal Through A Late-Life Divorce?
You have to pass through certain stages in your life, and the healing pattern might not be linear. The discomfort you feel may not go immediately from your life, but you will adjust over the period as time passes. Here are the ways, and by implementing these ways, you can cope with a late-life divorce.
Don’t get stuck in overthinking
Don’t get stuck in overthinking things, and try to seek help whenever you feel anxious or suffer from grief. Overthinking and suffering by yourself can lead to depression and resentment. Try to seek help from your loved ones.
Try to understand healthy coping strategies:
Switching off from your emotions is a remarkable skill, and all of us need to understand this. When you don’t feel your best, try to do the things which give you a sense of pleasure and satisfaction.
It can be anything depending on your convenience and interest, such as walking into the garden, taking your pet for a walk, cooking your favorite meal, or reading a book.
Try to be a good parent:
In a late-life divorce, we have to always figure out who will take care of the children and adjust to the new circumstances. Try to spend time with your child and explain what is essential to consider children and adjust with your ex-spouse or ex-groom.
Never lose hope:
The ups and downs we suffer from our lives are always challenging, and so can divorce. But always understand that you are moving ahead, and if you start focusing upon yourself, healing is completely possible. Try to embrace all the challenges which have come in your life.
Give yourself enough time:
At this time, your mental condition might not be proper, and you may not be able to work productively as you used to do previously. Give yourself enough time to relax and rest so that you can heal yourself. Don’t take on too much burden at work and try to get a bit of peace.
Use all the resources available:
Try to use all the resources which are available to you. You can talk to a friend or join a healing group or even book a session with the counselor if you don’t feel better.
It would be great to attend a couple of sessions with the counselor. It would be great for you if you start practicing meditation and yoga regularly, at least for 5 to 10 minutes initially.
Don’t be afraid to build relationships:
Don’t be stubborn about not falling in love again and finding a new relationship. The fear of being unlovable or never finding someone you love might put you into searching for a new relationship.
Stay bound to your healing journey and embrace the challenges in your path so that you can build new relationships based on care, love, and not fear.
Avoid being desperate:
There can be a time when you come across the memories of your ex-spouse or ex-groom. You may reach a stage where you want to reconnect with your ex. In later stages of life, we feel bound and thus feel desperate to meet our former spouses due to our lifelong connection with them.
Try to resist this temptation and understand that depending upon your circumstances, this is not the best thing for you and the correct decision for you and your family members.
Refuel your passions:
Your passion fuels your life and adds spices to it. It takes time, and trying to reconnect with all your passion. Your age doesn’t matter, and you can still start playing football, join a yoga class or have some painting sessions.
By staying busy and working on your passions, you can see pleasure and regenerate your interest into multiple hobbies and interests.
Start taking care of yourself:
Try to take care of yourself by exercising regularly and eating clean and nutritious food. Try to stick to the pattern and make educated decisions in your life.
Do not engage yourself in bad activities like smoking or drinking alcohol, which may affect your health and overall productivity.
Do not argue with your ex-partner:
If any thought turns into an argument for a topic of argument, then try not to argue. This will only hurt your mental peace. Try to cut the phone call and leave the room immediately to all be sorted out.
Why Do Late-Life Divorces Happen?
It often happens that a relationship ends in a divorce when one partner is extremely dominating. The other one bears and tries to adjust to the person’s behavior.
However, the person who bears this pain keeps getting angry over the period and loses their freedom. If the other person doesn’t adjust and cannot build an understanding with you, it leads to divorce as you get completely exhausted and once your responsibilities towards your children are over, you just want to end things so that you can enjoy some peace at the end of your life.
Empty nest syndrome
Many elderly couples are bound together to fulfill the needs of the children and raise them adequately. However, as the children mature and get busy with their responsibilities, the couples tend to divorce as there is nothing left as the job is done. One of the couples tends to divorce as they feel empty and have nothing to focus on.
Too Much Closeness
Elderly couples fulfill the responsibility, raise the children and handle the family adequately. However, after retirement and spending too much time together, couples might want to spend time with someone new.
They might get bored because they have been with the same person for a long time. Another reason could be that they have found someone better and are blessed to seek companionship and support.
Looking For Better Things
It may happen that they had married each other without understanding much about that behavior. They may have fulfilled all the responsibilities of raising children properly. Thus, they may desire to get something better in life and explore new ways of living life.
Too many hurdles in the relationship
A relationship is a two-way bond, and both of them have to equally contribute so that the relationship works and gets successful. However, due to too many hurdles in the relationship or one person entering into bad habits or not behaving properly could be the reason for the elderly divorce.
Senior Divorce Support
How do senior divorce support groups help?
Senior divorce support groups help older adults overcome the trauma or distress they are suffering from in this period. Divorce is a condition in which a person goes through extreme stress, and support groups prove to be a safer place where a person can convey their thoughts.
They provide great assistance during this emotional period of life. They accept what they say and don’t underestimate your thoughts and beliefs.
How do senior divorce support groups work?
Senior divorce support groups work by understanding your thoughts and beliefs. They give you the liberty to speak and do not judge you for your thoughts and beliefs.
They try to help you overcome the emotional trauma you are going through and help you understand the significance of moving on in life.
A person going through trauma during the divorce can join these groups. The support group helps overcome the hurt and the distress and can easily divert their mind.
Many unpredictable circumstances occur in our lives, leading to extreme stress and grief. Many times small misunderstandings turn to be a big topic of argument. Elderly divorce is a common thing occurring now.
However, there are many reasons for divorce as well as many support groups have emerged to help people get out of the grief of divorce. This promotes the person’s overall well-being and teaches how to deal with stressful circumstances after the divorce.
After the divorce, you need to focus upon all those tips and tricks that will help you better. In this article, you will come across all these three aspects, so make sure that you go through them and implement all the necessary steps in your life.